viridian_blue5

I won't be able to do much fanfic writing, but I'll post all fanfiction as soon as possible. This post is dated forward to the end of the world, so my blog will exist till then. :)

This is my fanfiction journal, and I'm cerulean_blue5.

( Romanisation/Translation Policy )

( Fanfiction Policy )

( Writing )

( Romanisations )

( Translations )

That's all so far. See you around! :D

Stolen from xvelvetdarkness. XD Literature is boring, I tell you.

( meme! )

Why do people want to be dao and mean to their juniors?

Is it very fun, being mean to them? Do you have some inferiority complex or something, so much so that you need to show your dominance and authority by being mean to people who did absolutely nothing to deserve it? Did you like it when your seniors treated you that way?

So if you don't have an inferiority complex or any equivalent, if your juniors did nothing to deserve it, if you didn't like it when your seniors did it to you...

Then why are you doing it?

What is it with my levelmates going 'I need to be meaner / I'm too friendly with my juniors / I should dao my juniors more / I am going to try to be more dao and mean this year'? Is being friendly to the juniors a bad thing? What kind of world do you live in, one where authority is determined by how bitchy and cold and mean you are towards your juniors? You guys hated it when the seniors were like that to you, some of you cried, etc etc...so why do it to your juniors? Is your life so miserable and your heart so narrow that you derive happiness from making your juniors suffer? That's a pretty miserable existence, isn't it?

I know you guys want discipline in the CCA, you guys want your juniors to respect you, etc etc etc. Is this how you go about it? You gain 'respect' from your juniors by intimidating them and scaring them and ignoring them? You establish 'discipline' that way? That's bullshit, in my opinion. Discipline is established when the juniors know what to do and what not to do AND why, and they follow it. Not just because they're scared of the seniors. That's not respect you're getting, that's fear. And if you're happy being feared, go ahead and live that kind of existence, but I can promise you one thing: when you leave the school, no one will WANT to remember you. You will leave the school, and your juniors will try their best to forget you. You will leave a legacy of fear and hate, if you even leave one at all.

I'm sick of seeing all the friends I thought I knew go out of their way to be mean to juniors. Quite evidently, I don't know them. And if that's the case, if this is what they really are like, I don't care for them either. I won't join them in a miserable existence, they can keep it for themselves and wonder how is it that others seem to get along so well with everyone. I don't care for that existence, I scorn it, and (even though this is going to get me killed sooner or later, but I don't care, I've had enough) I mock all those who live that existence. It is selfish, destructive, painful, pathetic, laughable and useless.

Three things to say, one to each group of people:

1) To the people who try to be mean to their juniors because their seniors did the same to them:

Hypocrites and cowards. Your seniors may have been slightly horrible or absolute vermin, I wouldn't know, but to continue that chain of misery and not dare to push yourself to break out of it is cowardly. 'I can't' is not a valid excuse; it doesn't take much effort to at least acknowledge your juniors' presence with a smile or a wave or a 'Good morning' 'Hello' 'Hey', no matter how tired it is. Don't pretend you're too busy to say one word, if you have the energy to tell me you want to be mean and dao all the juniors (and even go on for five minutes about how you haven't done it yet but will get around to it soon), you certainly have the time to smile at each and every junior. Stop being pathetic and cowardly, go be the difference you want but didn't get.

2) To the people who try to be mean to their juniors because it looks 'cool' / establishes seniority / makes you feel good / for no reason at all:

Pathetic. That's all I have to say. You live a pathetic existence, the same one I laughed at earlier in the post. You derive happiness from making your juniors feel horrible/scared? Go get a life. You think you're giving off the 'cold and mysterious' aura that everyone wants? No, you're just being a bitch. If I can see that, your juniors certainly can. You think being mean to your juniors gains respect and establishes authority? Why hello there, welcome to Earth. Your juniors don't respect you, they're afraid of you and complain and cry behind your back; your juniors don't follow your instructions out of respect for YOU, but out of 1) fear 2) recognition that you're older than them 3) respect for your batchmates who are actually nice to them, because not following your orders (not instructions, orders) would mean disrespecting the whole batch, including those that are nice to them.

(if you haven't already noticed, I scorn this group of people the most.)

3): The people who try to be mean to their juniors because the situation they're currently in is less than ideal:

Your juniors hardly deserve to be your punching bags. Yes, your situation may be worse off than others, but if you use it as a smokescreen behind which you hide, I don't think you deserve sympathy. Chin up, and realise that your juniors did nothing to you and don't deserve this rubbish from you.

---

I'm sick of seeing people complain how they're 'not dao enough and not mean enough to the juniors'. Some of us care about the juniors, even if you don't.

It hurts when I see upset juniors, crying juniors, and hear that their seniors have been mean to them. It hurts because I know they don't deserve it. I've talked to so many of them, and it's all the same thing - their seniors are being really mean. Stop it, really. What did these 13-year-olds ever do to you people? Why do you have to be so mean to someone only two years off your age?

I'm really tired. There's only a handful of us, and so many of you. Just a small handful of people. We can play the angel of comfort to the juniors, but that doesn't give you any excuse for what you're doing to them. And there's only so much each person can do. I'm tired, really, I am.

What is it you people want from the juniors? What do you hope to get by making these people feel horrible?

...no answer?

I thought so.

I don't usually comment about what other people do.

But just a few things to say:

You'll never understand what it's like to be an idol, don't compare your life to theirs. Unless you are one, I don't take that comparison as being valid.

You don't know what it's like to REALLY cut, to truly think of taking your own life. So stop flaunting it. I don't know it, and I'm quite sure you don't either. That comparison isn't valid either.

You don't have a clue what it's like to be poor. You're pretty darn rich already, stop pretending you're so poor. Hygiene isn't something you scrimp on, you disgust me.

---

I think one trait of debate that's rubbing off onto me is the sharp cynicism of some debaters. ._. But along with that cynicism comes insight, I guess. Insight into others, a little glimpse of how they think. Just a glimpse. That's all I have and that's all I want/need. (sometimes I don't even want it at all, those insights irk irritate and disgust me)

Philosophy and debate give surprising perspectives and ability, you know. They strip away all pretense, all falsehood, all lies, masks and fallacies, until you get just that little glimpse of the person herself. It's that little glimpse that I keep getting from people, when I view them in philosophy and debate. That girl that sits next to me, just who is she? The girl always sitting alone in the canteen, my new friend, why does she trust me? The people who come to me for help, why do they seek ME, and is there something they want?

The more I know about those I once trusted, the more I glimpse of this place and its sacred halls of learning, the more scared I am, the more worried I become, the more sickening it all seems

Ignorance is bliss.

I open my Friends Page and see my name twice. <3

Anyway~ Class randomness~ Suddenly dying of laughter in the middle of Mathematics lesson and having to excuse myself to go to the washroom. <3 (actually it was Kat's fault, because of her three of us ended up going to the washroom to attempt to calm down. XD)

Originally posted by lk737 at U.S. Petition to prevent ACTA

I have so many things to say.

---

First of all, today's batch meeting, when Ms Wong talked to all of us... I guess it showed me quite a lot, about how I'm not as bonded to the batch as it seems, how everyone knew about it except Peishan and me. Is it a squad thing? Is it me? I'm pretty certain it's not her, since if she told the entire batch and they told each other in private, then it's definitely not her (I applaud her for it, really, I would never have the courage to do that even if it happened to me). So, then...what did I do? What have I done?

I meant it in every sense of the word, you know. I cannot feel if I don't know. So while the others say exactly how they feel (or maybe not exactly, but how they feel)...really, what am I supposed to say? 'I'm sorry, even though I don't know what's going on'? 'I'm shocked, even though I don't know what's going on'? 'I'm sad, even though I don't know what's going on'? I don't know what's going on, and I don't like it. I've said it before, I detest it when everything is supposedly in front of my eyes, when someone else or MANY someone-elses know but I DON'T. I detest that feeling. And I admit it, I am an emotional person, my feelings drive me, but when I don't know what's going on, I cannot feel. That's when logic steps in.

It takes a lot to admit something. God works miracles, believe it or not. I will never forget the day God drove me to my knees with one simple sentence: 'Don't you see how much you already have?'

---

Now. Perhaps some happier stuff. :D

I had lunch with Ruth today! ...well not really lunch, just two people sitting beside each other and some small talk. Not really a lunch, but it's nice to be able to sit down with someone, even if you don't talk much. ^^

And also! Complete randomness in class ftw. :DDDD I really love my class, the way we troll the teachers together and all. :DD

Joycie: (on Thailand's natural resources) ...tungsten, tantalum...rubber and fish.
Joanne and Chin Ying: /dies of laughter
(we later found out that because we said 'rubber and fish', Joanne ended up writing 'rubbish')

Joycie: They were never colonised, so their independence year is 1238, the year they were founded!
Ms Raaha: So while other countries celebrate Independence Day or something, what does Thailand celebrate?
Me: ...Founder's Day?

And also ! Fanfiction! :DDD My fanfic thumbdrive is full of awesomeness! (I'm actually tempted to go save my own fics there OTL) But also...I wonder why I cannot write happy stuff. ;~; Peishan's been complaining about how I always write sadsadsadsad stories with Leeteuk angsting over something or crying or trying to kill himself, etc etc etc. :P

---

tl;dr: No one reads my journal anyway, thank god.

Author: 七目 Naname
Title: the music
Pairing/Characters: Leeteuk-centric
Rating: PG-13 for angst, I guess...
Warnings: ...angst.
Summary: Leeteuk is here for the music that runs in his soul.

( RPF #11: the music )

Originally posted by electricdruid at The fiasco continues

Stolen from silver_lien!

List any 11 Kpop idols of your choice, in any random order.

1) Taeyeon
2) Heechul
3) Ryeowook
4) Kevin
5) Key
6) CL
7) Leeteuk
8) Zhoumi
9) Yunho
10) Jaejoong
11) Se Hun

Do you ship 3 and 7 together?

Ryeowook and Leeteuk? Sure!

What do you think of 2?

Pretty, proud, perfect but he needs a slap at times.

What if 9 was your principal?

Yunho? I'd die laughing every time I walked past him in the hallway. Or maybe walk into him just for the fun of it.

What would happen if 4 walked in on you in the shower?

Kevin? He'd probably blush and mumble an apology while hastily backing out, and I'd just stare at him and then continue showering. XDDD

Have you ever drawn or edited fanart of 5?

Key? Nope! I can't draw or edit for nuts!

Have you written 1/10?

Taeyeon/Jaejoong? Wow. Never tried! I'd love to, though!

You're tired after a long day of school. After lying down in bed, 6. 8 and 11 burst into the most obnoxious song you can think of. Reaction?

CL, Zhoumi, Se Hun? Why am I not surprised LMAO I somehow expect it from them~ I guess I'd just throw a pillow in their general direction and then just sleep. (I've done that before in the middle of a very noisy classroom, and I slept for 20min. XD)

2 gives you a rose. What happens next?

Uh uh uh thanks Heechul? Which girlfriend did you decide WASN'T worth the rose? XD

You discover that 7 is a long lost sibling. What do you do?

Leeteuk? I'd begin spazzing and giggling (I've never actually wanted to date him anyway, I spazz over him as an oppa) and screaming at my parents over the age gap (for god's sake, he's twice my age) and glomping him and making his life hell in general. XD

What if you walked in on 3 and 8 kissing?

Ryeowook and Zhoumi? MiWook? Again, no surprise there. I'd just slink out quietly and hope nothing else happens. XD

What if you walked in on 4 and 9 doing something more than kissing?

Kevin and Yunho? I'd probably do the same as I would for the MiWook kissing one - slink out quietly. But I'd tell these two later that 1) no one ships Kevin/Yunho, really, and 2) I hope Yunho tops.

You are invited to 1 and 2's wedding. Reaction?

Taeyeon and Heechul? I'd attend, but wonder why neither of them are marrying Leeteuk. XD

5 is your substitute teacher for the day! What is your reaction?

Key? OHGOD NO THERE GOES WHATEVER ATTENTION I'D PLANNED TO PAY TO THE CONTENT

11 randomly walks up and hugs you. Now what?

Se Hun? YAY FREE HUGS

What's the best thing 10 could cook for you?

Jaejoong? ANYTHING NOT SPICY THANK YOU